Pre Thanksgiving

Alright, so I figured I should make a pre-Thanksgiving post so that when I've completely gorged myself on pumpkin pie and yams this week, I'll know what a bad girl I've been.

I weighed in yesterday at 191.8. Yay!!!!!!!! So from my highest point at 214, that's a total loss of 22.2 pounds. 

I forgot to move my pebbles around, so sorry no picture, but when I dip into the 180s I'll take one I promise. I also need to get one of me in my size 16 jeans. They're too big! Annoyingly so! Unfortunately, they're not too big everywhere, so I don't know if that means I can go down a size. I can put my 14s on, but it's not pretty, or comfortable in some places. With my 16s I have to cinch my belt so tight to hold them on, it makes it pucker all weird in the back and stuff, and I could get them off without unbuttoning them or anything. But my hips are still too wide to go smaller, really. So I guess this is the weird/frustrating part of weight loss. I'm too small for the jeans I have been wearing, but not small enough to go down a size, so I don't look good in any of them.  But hopefully that will work itself out soon. And I'm too cheap to go buy a pair that fits me right now because I don't plan on staying at the size I'm at for long.

The 180s are the hardest part for me since that's as far as I got, and where I've been for the last couple of years. I think I was at 187 on my wedding day, so it's really my "mostly healthy stage"  in my mind. Obviously if I'm really supposed to be at like 136 (that's a 22 BMI), 187 is way above mostly healthy, but that was the reality I had to accept before I knew what to do about  it. Also, when I did Weight Watchers before, I bottomed out at 180, but never went even a tenth of a pound lower than that. Even getting to 180 took me ages and ages longer than any of the other weight.

Since the 180s are so hard for me, I figured I would set myself some temporary incentives to get myself excited. So when I get to 185 I get to have my hair cut. If this happens by Christmas, I might even color it too. It's getting really long, which is great since I've been growing it out, but I've been almost a year since I've cut it and the ends are starting to split. I think my hair has been healthier since I've been starting all this, largely thanks to the multivitamin I've been taking and getting my thyroid under control. Hypo-thyroidism makes your hair really dry and brittle, which curly hair is naturally anyway, so mine was really bad.

Then when I get to 179.9 and finally see a 7 in the tens slot, I get to buy myself a pair of shoes I completely don't need. I figured that was a good girl goal, and hopefully it will get me through this pretty tough stretch.

So there you have it. Success, goals, and hopefully I won't stuff myself like a turkey for Thanksgiving.

Progress, finally!

Okay so I've finally made some progress! Since the last time I posted, I'm down to 194.9 lbs. Hurrah! Below 200 and over 5 lbs lost in the last month! (that was the goal I set in my Wii fit, so I got little stars when I weighed in tonight and completed my goal)

Here's how my pebbles are looking:

Pretty exciting right? I mean, yeah, there is still a lot of pebbles in the right bowl, but the little pile in the "lost" bowl is getting bigger!

There are downsides, however. Metformin is still the death of me. I hate that crap. I still haven't heard from my doctor about the results of my blood test, so I need to call again. I'm wondering if my fasting blood sugar levels will reveal some more clues to the answers. Also the cold weather is making it more obvious that my thyroid is too low. I've started to take partial pills to up my dosage like he told me to at my appointment, but I wish I knew how low I was so that I could maybe increase it more quickly than a fourth of a pill at a time. Jake has a hard time getting my feet and hands to even warm up, let alone stay warm.

The other problem, is that my medication has all but removed my appetite. I joked the other day that my drugs are giving me a eating disorder. I totally feel like I'm anorexic sometimes and don't want to eat. It comes and goes, but I don't want to be messing up my internal organs, so I'm careful to make sure that I'm taking enough calories in, even when I don't feel like eating. Some foods, like Chinese, I haven't been able to eat since I've gone on my meds, they just sound disgusting, which is sad because I miss going to Panda, and I love making my own fried rice.

I also have noticed that I've been very emotional and a little erratic. This might be partially due to the fact that I either am exhausted and spend the whole day dozing off in my classes, or I'm an insomniac and am jittery all day like a drugie going through withdrawals. I think I know what it is like to have Bipolar disorder because I have stages of mania and times where I just need to cry. Jake has been a real trouper to deal with all this. Now I don't want you to think I'm a complete mental nut case all the time, I'm mostly my usual self, but I have episodes where I feel a little out of control.

Hopefully the weight loss will continue and then eventually I'll be able to stop taking all of these medications that do weird things to me and everything will be hunky-dory.

Doctor's Appt

So I went to the doctor yesterday.
First off this was really frustrating for me because he thought I could have lost 30 pounds by my appointment, and I only lost like 2. I think he could tell I was pretty depressed about that, and he reached for the tissue box about the same time as I started tearing up.

What he tried to remind me is that it's still going in the right direction. I think he said something along the lines of "I'm not doing to lie, you are fighting a hard battle here." PCOS is suckish at best and it's not going to be easy.

We discussed switching me to spironolactone instead of metformin which would help with my acne and the unwanted hair, but it doesn't help with weight loss. I decided I care more about my weight than I do about my acne, and if I remember correctly from a year ago, at about 180 lbs. my acne essentially disappears anyway. It also has seemed recently that the acne wash he gave me makes me break out more, so I've stopped using it daily; that seems to irritate my skin less.

He prescribed an addition to my Phentermine called topamax. It's a medication used to prevent migraines but they have found it also helps patients to lose weight. The two medications are combined in a new drug called Qsymia, but it can be really expensive, and it's cheaper to buy the drugs separately.


After talking to him about everything (i.e. that I'm taking a spin class, and I eat less than 1500 calories everyday, and sometimes I even struggle to reach that) he requested some blood tests. The facts seem to indicate that my metabolism is still not working properly which is a symptom of my hypothyroidism. I probably need to increase my dosage. I also didn't eat before I went so that he could take a fasting blood sugar level reading.

I should hear about the results of my blood test on Monday, so I'll post when I know about that. And I didn't even cry when she drew the blood! You should all be so proud of me for that! (When I was younger I used to virtually throw a tantrum when I would have to get my shots, needles are not my thing.)

Getting down to 170 by Christmas is becoming a more distant goal, but I still want to be a size 10 by graduation so I can make myself this killer dress I found a pattern for at Joann's.  Actually it's a size 12 pattern, but I still have some curves. I've told myself I can't make it until I get there!(They were having a $1 pattern sale, I couldn't resist!) On the upside, Jake told me I was looking skinnier today, maybe it's just that my jeans are all stretched out from their last washing again, haha. But we'll hope he's right.

Spin Class Triumph

So I haven't weighed myself in a while, the last I checked I hadn't lost or gained anything (frustrating!!!!!)

But anyway, a spot of awesome news yesterday. I've been super sick with a cold and have been feeling pretty bad, even had to stay home sick last week.

But then yesterday I was starting to feel better, so I went to my spin class and was feeling really well. I even went 13 miles during our 45 minute class. Cool huh? I was so excited. I know it's not super awesome for other people, but I haven't really ridden a bike at all in the last few years, so I was proud I got that far. And I still have the rest of the semester to get better!

Back to School

Well, I'm not so good at writing on my blog as I thought. Oh well.

Let's see, weight loss progress: yesterday I weighed in around 198 (I don't remember the exact weight, but the important thing is that I'm under 200.)

I got an email from BYU today telling me that I got added to my STAC class, which is Indoor Cycling. Basically I think it's a spin class and lots of the people on Biggest Loser have had success with that.
Jake and I are going to take it together, Monday nights at 5:00. I wasn't so sure about taking it as a class,but you can't get on the spin bikes without being enrolled and I probably don't know what I'm doing anyway, so it will be nice to have an instructor. I'm really worried about being around other people when I know I'm so out of shape, but hopefully with Jake there I can just concentrate on us and not have to worry about what other people think of me.

Mostly I just hope this class gives the information and drive I need to be able to keep using my bike and get to a better point in my life.

I finally got some cute fish bowl things to put my pebbles in (remember from earlier, the pebbles that each stand for a pound I need to lose) and now I just need to label them. I'm thinking about chalk painting them so I can update my totals each time I transfer pebbles. But that might be too much work. Maybe I can just write with a dry erase right on the glass? I'll have to try that out.

Carb cravings.

Noticed a class on overeating in my Ed Week program. The Monday class was subtitled ending carbohydrate cravings: balancing blood sugar. I'm always craving carbs, maybe I should be better about taking my metformin! Then I might not feel the need to consume an entire sleeve of crackers.

unexpected progress

So after being 204.4 for 5 days, this morning I was 202.8 so down a pound and a half!

The interesting thing that I have noticed is that the back of my thigh muscle, while sore and a little stiff, actually feels like hard muscle now! It's not a giant jiggle of jello, at least in one spot. So that's fun!

The other day we rode our real bikes to the duck pond and I made it okay, just had to rest a little before we came back. So that means I can ride my bike to campus this fall, at least until it gets too cold.

Now I just need to order a basket to put my books in.